Before leaving Canada, I did a lot of reading and knew I wanted to visit the orphanage. It is such an important part of Jaida's history, and any connection I can provide her with in the future, the better. Some families choose not to visit the orphanage for their own reasons including the distance and being hard on the child. Some families regret later not visiting and I did not want to have that regret. I knew Jaida's orphanage was far from Nanchang (3hrs one way) and it may be hard but she would settle after and the pros outweighted the cons. I bought a few gifts for the orphanage, told family and friends I was going, and planned in my mind what our day would be like-visit orphanage, see location where Jaida was found and get her a special gift from her city.
It was such a good plan and then I got here....the decision of what you want to do versus what you might regret if you don't...some of the reasons I changed my mind were:
-I knew I would find it very uncomfortable and was the one thing I was stressing about
-The agency & guide thought 6 hrs driving would be hard on Jaida and she would be confused
-Every day Jaida is getting more comfortable with us and happier, I really would hate to hinder the progress
- The first day we had Jaida, the times she cried the most was after seeing the caregiver (she was so happy to see her but had huge grieving after-especially after she held her
-Jaida had some really good friends at the orphanage who would have already said bye to her. I think it would have been very hard for them to see her so soon and have to say good bye again
- I am so emotional, I cried saying bye to the caregiver who brought her. I would have been a sobbing mess to see the other caregivers and friend, especially the little girl who acted like her big sister and took care of her.
- there were extra costs: $260 to the govt plus cost of guide, driver, and rental car (8hrs not sure how much it would have been but for one hr for airport was $68) money did not sway our decision as it all blends in with all the other expenses, but still a factor to consider
- Jaida just came from the orphanage so would it really benefit her to go back or is it just for us to say we went and take some pictures
- She came from a caring orphanage in which the sent us 90 pictures, a nice letter and a beautiful silver bracelet, plus we have the finding ad (so we do have pieces of her history)
- As part of the bonding process I only want immediate family to hold Jaida. Jason didn't think it would be fair to go and not allow the people who loved her for the past year to hold her.
It was a tough decision not to go and still not confident with my decision. But it is the decision we thought was best for us during this trip. The time here has been very relaxing and we enjoyed every minute in Nanchang. Since I couldn't get Jaida something special in the city she was from I wanted to get her something special in the province she was born in. Porcelain is very famous here and one of the provinces biggest industries. We got her a beautiful tea set that I loved and we will give it to her for a special occasion such as her graduation or wedding. We also got her porcelain slippers with tiger on it (her year is the tiger) and a bracelet.
We also ended up not visiting our daughter's SWI. It was also a 3 hr drive each way and there was flooding during that time. Don't stress about it - you did what was best in the situation you were in. One day you can return with her - that's our plan. :o)
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful, loving Mom and chose to make the trip easier for Jaida <3 You can always return when she is older.
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