Still waiting

I can't believe it has been so long since the last time I wrote anything.  It certainly isn't because I am not thinking about Jaida everyday.  I am getting very addicted to RQ and have gotten lots of information on it.  One thing I didn't think of was citizenship vs landed immigrant.  I thought I would just start the paperwork after we got our referral but thanks to RQ I realized I should have started it a long time ago.  There was pros and cons with both ways but decided to go the citizenship way.  I completed the paperwork and sent it registered and marked in red ink urgent for international adoption and it was received in three days and a lady contacted me in a week (unfortunately it was because I didn't get it certified true copy by the proper officiate - hopefully it won't slow down the process too much).
As with everyone going through adoption it is a rollercoaster ride.  Sometimes I have hope and am excited and other times it seems like it will  never happen.  I tell myself everyday we will get Jaida when we are meant to and it really does help but sometimes...
We went on vacation to LA/cruise in March so our agency requested some more paperwork to be sent since we will be away from the country for two weeks and in case we got a referral during this time.  I knew I shouldn't get excited but it gave me hope that the time was coming soon.  Well that was in March and still no news so this would be the rollercoaster.
Since being on RQ I now know what days the referrals are coming so at least every day when the phone rings my heart isn't racing just for 4-5 days a month which helps a little.  Every month that passes I try and be positive of how the next month will work out better-summer off, more money saved, not have to worry about before and after school childcare, now I may be off next summer with Jaida and the boys.  I feel nervous because I really want her home with us before Christmas.  I remember last Christmas and thinking how Christmas 2011 we would have our little girl but now there is no guarantee.
The funny thing (fustrating thing really) is I seem to be always with the crowd instead of ahead.  When I started looking into adopting from China in 2005 the wait was so short I was worried Hayden and our daughter would be too close in age and then when we decided to go forward with the adoption our LID was Feb 2007 which is when it started to slow down.  Then when I decided to switch to SN, the families I talked to told me how fast it would be because that was their experiences but now it is getting much more popular and getting very slow (in the last 6 months).
I am starting to get more and more things-feels like my nesting stage.  I don't want to get too crazy but feel closer when I get some things for her and the unknown makes it harder.  I have to go away with work for 2 months in Aug so I feel the need to get as much done because if we get a referral right before I go how will it all get done...