Monday, September 27, 2010
Forver Family Day anniversary
A friend on Facebook posted her status that six years ago today she meet her daughter for the first time in rural China. After reading it I was so happy for her and yet felt so sad. I always love looking at her Facebook photos of her beautiful girl. After reading her status I thought I should share my feelings with Jason. I feel so sad that we will never have a Gotcha Day to celebrate and we will never have a daughter. Jason is so good with dealing with my feelings and said we were robbed because we would have been great parents to a little girl. He didn't think we could do anything as we don't want to wait any longer and we don't want to have an infant (and another big age gap between our children). Jason made me feel better and without realizing it he gave me a little bit of hope. At that moment I realized that if a Facebook status can bring such emotion to myself than maybe I am not ready to give up on the dream of having a daughter.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
It has been a long road
I have always known I wanted a girl and early on never thought I wouldn't have a girl. I am a girlie-girl so what would I do with a boy. I remember when I was pregnant with my first I was looking at girl clothes and my sister commented to my brother-in-law about our shopping trip. He wasn't surprised and said "of course she was, what would she do with a boy"-lol. Well three boys later, I have loved every minute of it and couldn't imagine my life without them but still look at the girl clothes.
A week after my third son was born, I was at the hospital visiting friends and one of the nurses mentioned if I wanted a girl I could always adopt from China. It wasn't the first time I heard of adopting from China but for some reason this time it really made me think. I started researching it (and wanting it) but everyone thought it was my hormones so I waited a year before we proceeded, to see if I changed my mind. A year of waiting did not change my mind but made me want my daughter even more. We started the homestudy Summer 2006, on our last visit our social worker said the next time she will see it will be with our little girl. It was such an amazing thing to hear, to think we would have a little in such a short time.
Our LID was 15 Feb 2007. When I first started researching adopting in China the timeframe was about a year but after our paperwork was sent I soon discovered the timeframe had become a lot longer. We still figured it would happen when it was meant to be although I did stop buying clothes because I figured the clothes might be out of style by the time we get her.
So much time has passed and we have enjoyed our three boys and life. We have discovered the love of traveling and cruises, have had three vehicles, two trailers, and a new house. Our youngest child was in diapers and not walking and is now in kindergarten and very busy. Wanting our girl has always been in the back of my mind but as time went by I started to think there would be too much age gap and I am not getting any younger. I started to think it wasn't meant to be and I was not meant to have a girl.
This past summer we moved from Ontario to Alberta. With this move I thought that was the final sign that I was only meant to have three children. With the move, it would mean more paperwork and even more delay. We were tired of waiting and had to move on, I just had to contact my agency to close the file
A week after my third son was born, I was at the hospital visiting friends and one of the nurses mentioned if I wanted a girl I could always adopt from China. It wasn't the first time I heard of adopting from China but for some reason this time it really made me think. I started researching it (and wanting it) but everyone thought it was my hormones so I waited a year before we proceeded, to see if I changed my mind. A year of waiting did not change my mind but made me want my daughter even more. We started the homestudy Summer 2006, on our last visit our social worker said the next time she will see it will be with our little girl. It was such an amazing thing to hear, to think we would have a little in such a short time.
Our LID was 15 Feb 2007. When I first started researching adopting in China the timeframe was about a year but after our paperwork was sent I soon discovered the timeframe had become a lot longer. We still figured it would happen when it was meant to be although I did stop buying clothes because I figured the clothes might be out of style by the time we get her.
So much time has passed and we have enjoyed our three boys and life. We have discovered the love of traveling and cruises, have had three vehicles, two trailers, and a new house. Our youngest child was in diapers and not walking and is now in kindergarten and very busy. Wanting our girl has always been in the back of my mind but as time went by I started to think there would be too much age gap and I am not getting any younger. I started to think it wasn't meant to be and I was not meant to have a girl.
This past summer we moved from Ontario to Alberta. With this move I thought that was the final sign that I was only meant to have three children. With the move, it would mean more paperwork and even more delay. We were tired of waiting and had to move on, I just had to contact my agency to close the file
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