A Merry Christmas It Was

What an amazing Christmas it was to be with my family and finally have my daughter home with us.  Last Christmas at church (as I saw cute little girls in beautiful dresses) I thought of Christmas 2011 and how I would have Jaida.  Some times thoughout the year I began to have doubts so it bought tears to my eyes on Christmas Eve holding my beautul daughter during mass.

Jason surprised me with the most beautiful and perfect gift - white gold necklace with a pendant with our childrens birthstones as well as mine.  I have always wanted one but never felt my family was complete so never asked for one.  I now know my family is complete (which is a great feeling) but wasn`t expecting one so soon.  Usually I have to give lots of hints before I can expect it, and leave out flyers and sometimes buy things myself and give to him to wrap.  My husband is so amazing, I really should tell him more often.  He doesn`t even read my blog so he still won`t know I am saying nice things about him-haha

It was nice to have my parents visit us for the special holiday.  This is the first Christmas we spent completely together.  They have visited us before but didn`t stay at our place so it was nice to have them here Christmas morning and have the fun of Santa coming and filling all of our stockings.  The boys had a great Christmas and got everything they wanted.  Hayden is already thinking of what he wants for next Christmas so I will have to work on him and remind him of the importance of Christmas a little better.  Jaida had fun but didn`t keep up with the boys for unwrapping presents, she was still unwrapping on Boxing Day.  Tristan thought this was a good idea and has plans to keep some of his presents for Boxing Day next year.  If he does I am sure he will keep all the soft ones (clothes) for that day.



I took Jaida to the dr and occupational therapist.  Some of the things she was checking for Jaida wasn`t able to do so I can`t believe what a difference two weeks can make: she is going up the stairs as fast as I can and deciding if she wants to go back down, she is standing all the time and claps (with one hand in a fist) as she is so proud of herself, crawling everywhere, reaching, kneeling, wants me to walk with her, loves her rocking horse and goes so fast it is scary, offering me food all the time, and bothering the dogs lots (poor dogs).

Jaida`s sleeping through the night has gotten much better(I bought her the Fisher Price aquarium and that seems to really soothe and/or mesmerize her, it eats the batteries but extra sleep is priceless so we just keep buying batteries).  I still sleep in her room but on the few occasions I had to sleep in my bed to get up with an alarm she did pretty well,  I just had to go in and turn the aquarium on a few times.  Jaida has very little naps-basically falls asleep in my arms exhausted and sleeps about 20 minutes in her crib ( I think when she wakes up and sees I am not there gets scared, cries) and then she is awake for the rest of the day.  She sometimes goes to bed around 10pm but has gone to bed as early as 8pm and some nights is up until 11pm.  I keep wanting to put her to bed earlier but she is at her best in the evening and I just want to enjoy it and lose track of time.  I was reading an article the other day http://www.adoptmed.org/topics/sleep-and-adoption.html and it discussed adopted children and sleep issues, I knew some of it but I found it interesting how it touched on overstimulated children and how they can have the Disneyland syndrome.  I think this explains Jaida because she is so tired around 6pm and I think there is no way she will make it to 8 or 9pm, then she gets a second or third wind and is happy and still awake at 11pm.  It isn`t really a bad thing since she is happy but I will have to work to keep her life more routine and calm later in the evening.  She does seem to be doing better, yesterday she actually had a 2hr nap and the last two nights she has gone to bed and I can hear her wake up but she doesn`t cry and soothes herself back to sleep.  Tonight was the cutest-I rocked her and put her to bed awake (she gets restless in my arms sometimes and won`t stay still).  She was moving around, couldn`t settle; so I layed in the bed and put my hand in the crib and called her to come up to it-she then crawled to my hand, layed her head on my hand and held it with both hands, then fell asleep.  So wish I could have picture to capture the moment.

As wonderful as my Christmas was it was also filled with sadness.  Somebody I love very much is going through personal heartache.  My heart breaks for her and hopes she never doubts what an amazing person she is (and I would be so lucky to have even some of her great qualities) It just doesn`t seem fair, I can be so happy and have everything and those I love around me don`t have the same.  It also makes me weary for the future-a lot of times I think of how happy I am and that my life can`t be this perfect forever so I do kind of wait for the bad but embrace the happiness while I have it.

The other saddness of this Christmas is my grandmother passed away 23 December.  She was 95 years old and I have been amazed for years how active she was (bowled when she was 90 yrs old, went to church everyday, volunteered, and went out every night to play cards) She was an amazing women who will be missed but I really think her funeral should be a celebration of life if ever there was one.  She lived an amazing life, she was so healthy and on the day she died she had her hair done, walked to the ambulance telling the man walking her down the stairs she wasn`t feeling too bad, and then passed away in the ambulance.  She lived alone in her home but two of her daughters were visiting her at the time.  My Grandmother celebrated Christmas with her family early since everyone was traveling to visit other family so even though it is hard to lose someone special during the holidays she already had her special Christmas. This year Alyson (my cousin) come up with a great idea for all the grandchildren to give a gift together to donate books and music to a school to honour her legacy of a great teacher and a great grandmother.  Wendy (another cousin) presented it to her and videotaped it for us that live far away to enjoy.  Again amazed how things happen for a reason and so thankful to Alyson and Wendy for what they did to give us a wonderful lasting memory and a special moment for Grammy.

Merry Christmas Grammy Bailey

I wish Jaida could have met her great-grandmother like her brothers did and my grandmother could have met her.  My Grammy did see pictures of her, read my blog, sent a wish for her quilt and send a special porcelain doll (which I will keep up high so the doll isn't bald in 2 weeks) for her at Christmas so even though they did not meet they will have a connection.  My Grandmother had 12 great-grandsons until this year she became a great-grammy to two beautiful girls.

First time Jaida touches snow!  Had pictures taken for Christmas card

I haven`t been home a month yet and it feels like Jaida has been with us forever.  She is doing great and seems to be doing more everyday.  We had our one month visit with our social worker and I took her to see the international adoption doctor last week.  I was surprised she only weighed half a lb more than our last update in Oct but then remembered she was probably weighed with her clothes on in China (and I am sure there was lots of clothes:) She is getting bigger with all she is eating and the pjs she was wearing tonight a lot tighter on her than when she wore them in China. I am happy she is growing and getting stronger everyday but I also love her being little-plus I bought so many cute clothes I really don`t want her to grow out of soon

As Jaida was being evaluated for her motor skills the lady gave me suggestions on how to encourage her to crawl up the stairs.  Why would I encourage such things and make it hard, I am completely happy to have her remain on one level.  As it turns out no encouragement was required because she is now crawling upstairs and today she has been standing lots.  Everyday she is doing more and seems happier.  Jaida`s best part of the day is in the evening so it is hard to put her to bed when she has so much energy and lot of fun.  Tonight she went to bed at 11:30.  I am suppose to try and get it earlier so she doesn`t sleep away the whole morning but it keeps getting later.

My parents are visiting for Christmas and  they are loving her.  I told them the rules before they came: no holding, feeding or kissing her (no changing diapers also but that rule is easy to follow).  They accept my rules, as per the books I read for bonding, but I know it is hard.  I feel bad but feel it is important to get the best attachment with Jaida and need to have these rules followed.  Jaida is doing well with wanting me.  I sleep in her room and during naptime if she wakes up is very upset until I go back in the room.  She wants me to carry her all the time so it is really hard to get any work done and she is my daily workout.  She plays really well but if I try and leave the room she notices and either follows or cries.  As much as I love that she wants me I also know she will also be happy with others.  We went to Hayden`s school concert and one of the moms is chinese-she was talking to Jaida in manderin and you could see the comfort Jaida had to hear familiar words.  Jaida kept staring at her, again I think because of the familiar comfort, then the Mom put her hands out to hold her and Jaida reached for her.  I was very quick to pull her away and say noone is allowed to hold her.  The poor Mom left pretty soon after that and I am sure thinks I am a little off as well as many other probably do as well.  I had no rules like this with my three boys but no work was really needed for them to know who I am-their Mom.  Jaida has been in an orphanage for her first year of life and doesn`t know what a Mom does-she had several people come in and out, holding and feeding her.  I need to teach her the importance of her immediate family and the special love we have for her.  We need to teach her to need and love us and that she can count on us the most.



Before Hayden`s concert

Poor Jaida can`t get use to all of my kisses.  She hasn`t seem to like kisses since we first held her but we aren`t giving up.  She gets them nonstop so she might as well get use to it.  She is coming around a little and sometimes reaches up with an open mouth so I am taking that as a kiss.  My boys are happy because I tend to leave them alone a little more and they are happy to pass the kissing thing off to their sister.



Really how can you not kiss this cutie all day long



Home Sweet Home

It was so exciting to get off the airplane and know my boys were waiting to meet their sister for the first time.  I love this picture of our family finally together (it does look like the long flight took its toll on me but still love the photo :)

 

Jaida wasn`t so sure getting off the airplane and seeing her brothers.  Tristan thought she looked angry but I told him he should get use to the look as she has it quite often until she gets use to everything.  She hated being in her carseat for the first time so I wished we lived a little closer to the airport.  Once we got home I was amazed how comfortable she was with her brothers.  Jason went to get dinner and I actually was able to have a shower, leaving Jaida with her brothers.

Jaida seems to be adjusting very well and life through the day is easy.  She is very active, loves her brothers and is eating lots.

I look forward to taking her to the Dr to see how much she weighs because she must be gaining weight with how much she is eating.  She has a twinkle in her eye that I was looking forward to seeing that didn`t show too much while we were in China.  When she sees me now she will give me smile without me even having to work for it.

Nights on the other hand have been a challenge.  But I guess it all can`t be easy.  Jaida slept really well while we were in China and I was expecting it not to be as smooth but really didn`t think I would be up 3-4hr every night (and last night she woke when I put her to bed at 12pm and didn`t sleep in her crib again until 5am!)  I am trying to enjoy every moment and do pretty well the first hour or two but then start getting a little grumpy-I really should learn some new lullabies because I think I sing Hush Little Baby about 50 times (she must be sick of it because I am) and have her snoring in my arms at least 4 times to have her wake as soon as I gently place her in her crib.  I try and have her stay awake most of the day but it still doesn`t help.  By Day 2 I bought a bed for me to sleep in her room in hopes for it to help.  Oh well, eventually she will sleep through the night and until then I have had lots of time to think (so far I have planned our next two vacations, poses for photos, Baptism event, and what university she and Hayden should attend-haha okay not yet but it is only week one of being up all night).

I have been meaning to get to my blog as well as many other important things that needed to be done this week-unemployment insurance, Canadian citizenship certificate, Alberta health insurance.  Things that needed to get done but through the day I have been either sleeping or too tired and at night would continue to think about how I have to get it done.  I feel a little better that it is all done as of now although I did think it would all be done by Monday afternoon.  I am going to have to get use to the fact things are going to take longer now that I have a little one again, as well as my clothes will never be free of dried chunks of baby cookie and my diaper bag has replaced my fashionable purses.  The most amazing thing I am still trying to get use to is that I have a beautiful daughter (it is weird-even as I hold her is still doesn`t seem real)

We had such an amazing trip and it is a journey we will always remember and share the memories with Jaida as she gets older.  I am so thankful my Mother-in-law, Audrey, was able to come up and take such great care of the boys.  They had so much fun with her and she was always up for anything so they kept her busy with Wii, games, cards, stories, movies, and of course cooking.  It made our trip that much more enjoyable to know the boys were taking care and having fun.  I am also thankful for Amy Fraser-MacDougall for posting all of my blogs.  There were firewalls in China that I did not know how to avoid so I was unable to  access my blog or Facebook and was really wanting to post everyday (good thing because I never would have had time now that I am home).  I know Amy through the internet as we belong to the same great agency and she is waiting for a referral for her daughter.  My heart goes to her and others waiting waiting for their daughters and sons as it is so hard and sometimes it feels like it will never happen. When it does finally happen the rollercoaster of emotions is so worth it and I wouldn`t change a thing as the wait led us to our daughter.

Day 11 - Last Day in China

I can't believe this is the last day in China.  We have had a wonderful time here with lots of memories and great friends.

Even though I enjoyed everything we did here I have never been more ready to go home.  I miss my boys so much, we have been gone too long and I can't wait for them to meet their little sister.  They are going to love her and Jaida has so much energy I know she will have lots of fun with them.
I think Jaida is ready to go home too,  even though it is sad for her to be away from her culture, food and the place she knows.  We have been very busy since we got to Beijing and I think it is getting too much. The last couple of outings she hasn't been too happy and when she isn't happy everyone knows as she cries and screams very loud.

Two days ago we went to the silk store and the indoor market.  The dresses at the the silk store were beautiful.  Unfortunately Jaida didnn't love it as much as me but I'm sure some day she will be a great shopping partner.  The indoor market was great.  Jason had a great time bartering the prices.  He had so much fun he took the subway this morning to do some more shopping.  That night we went to see an Acrobatic show.  I was tired from the day of shopping but didn't want to miss anything, I was really glad I went  because it was absolutely amazing.

Yesterday we went to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.  It was so cold, we would have enjoyed it more if it was warmer but still happy we got to see it. 

Last night was the Good-bye China party.  It was such a special night with again great food, entertainment and more memories of our wonderful time in China.

Day 8 - Summer Palace

Today was less packed with outings than most our days in Beijing.  Those family going immigration route had medical examinations this morning and those of us who chose the citizenship route had the morning off.

We left for Summer Palace after lunch.  All of the families came to this excursion so it was a full bus.  So great to see all the families again.  We decided not to take the diaper bag off the bus as we were only going to be there for an hour.  So cookies and camera in pocket off we went.  Jaida decided differently and was thinking we should have also brought a bottle.  She cried for almost the entire time at Summer Palace.  I didn't really see too much of the Summer Palace as I was distracted trying to comfort Jaida.  She doesn't cry quietly either so she probably distracted a few other people too.  Then of course she needed a kleenex from crying so much, which was also in the diaper bag.  As I mentioned before Chinese women like to help us parent so one was telling me she need a kleenex but her helping really did help because she gave us kleenex :)  So our daughter has taught us the important lesson very early on-do not go anywhere without the diaper bag! We were able to get a few photos while there without her crying so it looks like another happy day.

We went for another group dinner tonight.  Luckily we were given a private room as our group can be quite noisy with all the babies grieving in different ways (or tired or hungry, who really knows).  Jaida did great (she already had her cry for the day) and loved the dumplings.  I don't think I have to worry about getting special recipes for congee or steamed eggs.  She loved them both the first day but quickly got off congee and tonight she wasn't interested in the egg.

Jason is always the first to take the fork when offered but he is starting to get the talent of chopsticks

Day 7 - Jade Market, The Great Wall

Today was a busy day with lots of tourist attractions

First stop was the Jade Factory.  I was looking forward to going and planned to spend lots of money :)  Jason left the credit card at the hotel which I think was intentional.  We went to the Jade market in Hong Kong and bought some there but I was still planning on buying more.  It was very expensive and I didn't fall in love with anything so we ended up just buying a small family ball (I think that is what it is called).  I read before I left someone regretted not buying more jade in Hong Kong so I bought quite a bit but now have the same regret of wishing I had bought more.

Next stop was The Great Wall.  It was so exciting to know I was actually going to see the Great Wall.  There was two ways to go on the wall so we decided to challenge ourselves a little and go the side with the better view

It was a little cold there but the sun was shining so it was perfect day.

Our last stop for our day was for lunch at the Cloisonne Factory.  I didn't know what cloisonne was until today and it was really interesting to see how many steps go into making it.  Cloisonne is made out of copper and then hand painted.  It is expensive, of course, when you see how much work goes into each piece.  We bought an ornament so every year I can enjoy it.  I wish we could have taken pictures of the people working but no photos were allowed and we decided to follow the rules

On the way home we drove by the Olympic grounds.  We could have stopped in but I think the whole group was tired by this time so driving by and taking a picture was enough.  We did a little shopping at a market close by but are waiting for our big shopping day on Tuesday.

Day 6 - Beijing

Today was very busy but great.  We did all the paperwork required for Jaida's citizenship this morning.  What a relief to have that all done and know I didn't forget something in Canada (that was my fear).  After lunch we meet in the lobby and had the group picture.  We are a very big group, not sure I will know everyone's names before the end of the week but everyone seems really nice.  It is so exciting to see everyone with their new children and know we all have different stories but all ended here in China with our dreams coming true.  I saw Roberta, didn't get to talk to her but it is like she is a super star as many of us recognize her from reading her and her husband's blog.

Then off to the Beijing Zoo.  It was nice to see the panda bears and I thought of my son Tristan as Panda Bears are his favourite animals.  I would have loved to have him there with us.

Rest of the zoo was nice too.   It wasn't too busy and the brisk air was refreshing after our warm flight the night before (wearing extra clothes so our suitcases wouldn't be overweight).  We dressed Jaida warm since she is used to warm weather and only had one person tell us we should have mittens on her because her hands are cold (China women are known for telling us adopted parents to cover our new children up as they are cold, even if they are sweating)

The zoo probably would have been more fun with our other children or if Jaida was a little older (or stayed awake for some of it :)  It was still nice to walk around and see everything we can in Beijing this week.

The guides (Vivian and Faye) took some of the families out for dinner.  I love the meals here.  Several different dishes are ordered and we all share it.  Chopsticks are used but luckily the restaurants usually have 4-6 forks on hand for us to fight over.  I am can get by with chopsticks but skip the rice.  This meal was very good although I do miss the spicyness of Nanchang.  It was fun to talk to other families, at our table we had a family from Dartmouth, another one from London and the couple from Edmonton who we were with in Nanchang.  Lots of laughs and the babies were all well behaved.  We weren't too sure about Jaida because she wasn't very happy before we left but I certainly didn't want to miss a meal :)  She was really good, sometimes they do better being out than in the room with just boring Mom.  The most unique dish was the dessert which was sweet potatoes with a glaze of liquid sugar.  It is so sweet it comes with bowl of water to dip the potatoes in to get rid of some of the sugar.  It is an instant sugar high which of course I love.

I put Jaida in her crib and lie on my bed next to her.  Then if she is upset I just rub her stomach or back and it usually settles her.  I can be there for sometime before she actually falls asleep but it seems to work pretty well.  So tonight as I am lying next to her she is feeling my face so I figure this may be good bonding time :)  Then she starts touching my nose, poking, rubbing, scratching....then I realize she is probably trying to figure out what this big thing in the middle of her Mom's face is :)

Day 5 - Good bye Nanchang

It makes me sad to say good-bye to the province where Jaida was born and where we first held our beautiful girl.  Before leaving Canada I thought this would be the one and only time in China.  We love it here so much we know we will be back when Jaida is older and will appreciate where she is from.  Jason really enjoyed it here.  He isn't one to stay in the hotel so he had many hours going for walks and exploring.  I miss my boys very much but I am happy to have these quiet moments with Jaida.  We didn't do a lot here in Nanchang so the boys would have gone crazy being the room every afternoon.  Beijing will be another story with our days filled with lots of tourist attractions.

This morning we packed up and received her passport.  This afternoon we went for a walk and visited the great bakery that Jason bought our cake at.  Mary, our guide, came in got us one last time; she was so great and helpful.  It was nice to be taken so well care of.  I have never been on a trip where everything is taken care of-no stress. I could get use to this type of travel (if only I was rich and could pay for someone to plan and take care of everything-I just thought Jason has one and he isn't rich, it's called a wife-haha).

I am really glad I got to travel with the group we did.  It was great company to spend time with them and we still had quiet time with our babies in the afternoon.  I will miss it not just being the eight of us but also look forward to meeting all the other families and their new babies.

Jaida is very active and was a challenge on the plane.  It was just a little tease of what our flight home will be like-Jason says someone will be taking gravol, either him or Jaida and I get to pick, I think I want it to be me :)

Jaida is liking me and does pretty well with Jason, although she seems to prefers me. Even though she does watch me all the time and cries if I leave the room,  she would happily go with anyone else too (she isn't too picky).  Going through security, she was quickly snatched up without any warning by the security guard-she did not fuss at all while other babies seemed traumatized.  A few other times strangers and guides will try and hold her and she happily reaches for them; as I pull her away and say no she is too tired.  I also try feeding her so we can look into each other eyes (helps with attachment) but she usually squirms until she sits up looking at everyone else.  I think she is too busy and doesn't want to miss anything to be a snugglier.